Encouraging Balance When Your Son is Addicted to Video Games

Video game technology seems to evolve by the month. Games that were cutting edge a few years ago, now seem antiquated. And teens are constantly on the lookout for the newest game or technology to use. We are just beginning to understand technology addiction and our society’s reliance on screen time. Most research on the effects of video game addiction has been limited to its association with real-life aggression, which is inconclusive. Some may argue that they pick up violent scripts from games, while others argue that people live vicariously through their characters and the outlet virtual aggression provides for feelings of anger; however, if your son is addicted to video games, he is probably spending more time on the couch than fighting on the street. While video games began as simple mind games and upgraded to social arcade games, researchers believe that the accessibility of video games through personal consoles and devices has changed the nature of video games and made them easily addictive.

Technology Consumption Ingrained at a Young Age

More parents are introducing simpler video games early in their child’s lives as an educational tool as well as using them as digital babysitters. While girls are socialized to look up to princesses as role models, boys are introduced to superheroes who are usually featured in cult series or video games. It is common for young boys to bond over video games when they spend time together, while girls may be more encouraged to use their imagination. As the novelty of the availability of certain games has worn off, video games have improved their graphics and added more levels to be unlocked to keep consumers engaged. While many games are part of a series and upgrade every few years, a lot of games seem to have an unlimited amount of levels that ensure the user won’t get bored easily. Many parents assume their sons will age out of playing video games as they find other activities or explore various careers, but as video games are becoming more complex, the world of computer science is becoming increasingly advanced.

Not All Games are Mindless

Video games provide hours of entertainment, but they also encourage problem-solving, motor control and dexterity, personal agency and cognitive flexibility, or the ability to take multiple perspectives. Many games are challenging and require higher-order thinking and role-playing rather than just repetitive movements. While many critics point out that people who are addicted to video games have a hard time focusing on other tasks, studies show some video games actually improve one’s ability to focus on certain details and filter out irrelevant information.

When Does it Become an Addiction?

It is important to distinguish between excessive screen time and video game addiction. Someone who has a busy schedule may spend a limited amount of time in front of a video game, but they might spend an excessive amount of time thinking about the game and planning their next move. They might dream about their favorite game or have trouble falling asleep because of the urge to continue playing. They might be sad, anxious, or irritable when they are unable to play or might play in order to escape from negative emotions, such as depression and hopelessness. The most noticeable sign is excessive screen time, as it can be associated with isolation from others, loss of interest in other activities, and a decline in academic performance. Likewise, someone can spend a lot of time playing video games with friends and have minimal problems in other areas of their lives. Signs that your son may be struggling with gaming addiction include:

• Thinking about gaming all or a lot of the time
• Feeling bad when they can’t play
• Needing to spend more and more time playing to feel good
• Not being able to quit or even play less
• Not wanting to do other things that they used to enjoy
• Having problems at work, school, or home because of their gaming
• Playing despite these problems
• Lying to people close to them about how much time they spend playing
• Using gaming to ease bad moods and feelings

Helping Your Teen Balance Their Tech Use

If you feel that your son is exhibiting signs of gaming addiction there are ways that you can help him create a better balance in his life: Validate that video games can be addictive. Don’t judge his choices or make assumptions about his group of friends. It is a common hobby among teenage boys and many boys claim to spend an excessive amount of time playing games. Understand that brain activity spikes while playing and elevates their mood, which creates a reward loop. Don’t overreact or threaten to take away screen time. Like with drugs, going cold turkey may increase anxiety around video games. There are ways to monitor the amount of time they spend playing games without taking it away altogether. Although there is some debate around whether it should be used as a reward for completing chores or homework, guidelines around appropriate times of the day and an appropriate period of time may be helpful in limiting their use. Don’t enable them by giving in to buying new products. There is always going to be another product. They may choose to save up for something they want or borrow a game from a friend. It may be helpful to encourage them to play the game using a different character or technique or with different people to help keep the games they do have stimulating. Engage with them. While playing by asking if they would teach you, asking to watch, or suggesting you play a different game together. Ask them to consider what lessons they have learned in games that have helped them offline. What makes it meaningful to them? Are they aware of why they are dependent on games? Role model how to unplug. Whether it is video games or social media, we are all addicted to technology to some extent. Encourage outdoor activities, weekend trips, or tech-free family dinners to explore how to build in-person relationships and connectivity. Seek out help. Some teen boys may need additional help to deal with their technology use. A residential treatment center designed specifically for the needs of teen boys can provide the support and structure they need to create a healthier relationship with their technology use. 

Residential Treatment Centers for Teen Boys

One of the strengths of Equinox is our experiential approach which uses the residential environment to observe and help change come about in practical, everyday experiences. Milieu therapy provides “in-the-moment” intervention that is nearly impossible to replicate in traditional therapy sessions. This therapeutic environment can help address issues like gaming addiction. For example, when a student feels the impulse to reach for a game, they have a support system that can engage with them to explore what is triggering that impulse and how they can choose a different action.  Boys who feel disconnected from their peers or who have withdrawn from real life in favor of online interactions can benefit from the Positive Peer Culture at an RTC like Equinox. Positive Peer Culture is a therapeutic approach that utilizes the social culture of the residential treatment center to create healthy changes in our boys. These changes are achieved through therapeutic use of our students’ “community,” which includes peers, staff, community roles and responsibilities, groups, and meetings. In combination with other therapeutic interventions, peer culture can be incredibly powerful in changing the lives of young men. The home-like setting of Equinox–a year-round program for troubled boys–also more closely matches the settings our young men will return back to. This provides even greater and more realistic insight and opportunities for change. With a smaller therapeutic setting, we can better see where our student’s strengths and weaknesses are, helping them to grow in real-life scenarios. As students practice new life and coping skills, they build confidence and a toolbox that they can use when they return home and confront situations that once challenged them. 

Equinox RTC Can Help

Equinox RTC is a residential treatment center for teen boys, ages 14 – 18. Our students struggle with depression, anxiety, trauma, drug use, and other behavioral or emotional issues. Many of the boys we work with are addicted to video games or use technology excessively. We strive to help students develop healthy habits and lead themselves back onto a path of success through meaningful therapy and a nurturing environment. We teach students how to unplug and tune in through adventure activities, teamwork, and community service. At Equinox, teenagers work towards building accountability, respect, and a solution-oriented approach to solving their challenges. With decades of experience working with adolescents in residential treatment, our founding team developed a clinically intensive, trauma-informed, neurologically-based, and adventure-filled program focused on the specific challenges and needs of young men. The Equinox Difference focuses on respected, evidence-based approaches to the recovery from trauma, loss, depression, anxiety, relationship deterioration, and impulsive and addictive behaviors. Our holistic approach–which treats the mind, body, and soul–is just one aspect that sets us apart from other treatment programs for troubled teens. For more information please call (828) 414-2968.